When the Family is No Longer There

The passing of Mother’s Day and the coming of Father’s Day has made me somewhat wistful and nostalgic.  I’m at the time of life where both my parents have passed on.  An only child, I have never had other close family members in my life.   My life pretty much consisted of two grandmothers, one grandfather, my mom and my dad.  There were aunts and uncles and cousins, but there isn’t much communication amongst those surviving, so I usually only see one or two of them at a funeral.

As these celebratory days pass, I realize that I am truly alone now.  I still have my two sons, but I am their tie to their early life.  I no longer have anyone who remembers what I was like as a child.  No one who knows about my pets, my favorite classes, my tolerance of the piano lessons, and my shyness around older kids.

Perhaps it is a natural outgrowth of age, that we begin to look back and remember what our lives used to be like.  My memories of my youth are now archived.  There is no one left to say, “Oh, yes, I remember when you did that.”  Memories, of course, can be inaccurate and they can disappear.   No one left to correct the memories or to remember what I cannot. 

When I was five, we took a vacation to California.  It was my parents, my grandmother and her housekeeper, who was originally from Taos, New Mexico.  I remember staring at the side of the car door.  They didn’t have car seats back then, so I was tucked in the corner of the backseat, too small to see out the window unless someone put me on their lap.  We stopped in Taos and I was introduced to several of the Pueblo children.  One little boy had chocolate smeared all over his mouth and I was sad because I didn’t have any chocolate.  We pressed on to California.  In Newport, visiting a great aunt, my dad walked me to the edge of the Pacific Ocean.  He got his shoes and the cuffs of his pants wet holding me so I could wade into the cold water.  I loved it.  Later in San Francisco, I had to use the bathroom, immediately.  Dad drove around and around trying to find a gas station.  He finally found one and Mom rushed me in.  Surprise!  I didn’t have to go any more.  Mom never did tell Dad that I failed to perform.

My birthday cake was always chocolate with white whipped frosting.  Dinner was always at my grandmother’s house, which was next door to us.  Her housekeeper was an excellent cook, and made wonderful fried chicken and gravy.  On other special occasions, she would make a graham cracker pie, which had a vanilla custardy filling topped with tons of meringue.  All the time I was in school, my Mom would pick me up for lunch and we’d eat with my grandmother.  Then Mom would drop me back at school and she’d return to work.  There was a short-lived period when I was expected to eat a portion of everything that was served.  Spinach, cooked cauliflower, asparagus, all appeared on my plate and I would attempt to win an Academy Award in displaying how sick these terrible vegetables made me.  Mom would resort to telling me I would not go back to school until I had eaten everything, and I was cowed by the thought of being returned tardy to school and having everyone know it was over spinach.  So I would eventually give in, after much crying and gagging.  It was not pleasant for anyone, and the project was abandoned after about a month.

Christmas was a challenge.  Since Dad had to open up the radio station, he would be gone by 5:30 on Christmas morning and the rule was that I could get my stocking, but not open any gifts under the tree until Dad came home.  That was usually about 10 in the morning.  You can imagine the anxious trips to the window to see if his car was pulling into the driveway yet.    It always seemed to take forever for him to get home on Christmas.

My one grandmother was overly obsessed with me because I was the only grandchild, and I had arrived just three months before my grandfather died of a heart attack.  I think she felt I was sent to be his replacement in her heart and she constantly spoiled me and worried about me and would sneak Ex-Lax to me, telling me it was chocolate, so I would be regular.  She also sent me graham cracker pie and potato salad when I was away at college, so I wouldn’t be hungry.  (I was only 50 miles away).  My remaining grandfather, on the other hand, snuck me silver dollars.  I was their only grandchild living in town, so I got some extra benefits from that side of the family as well.  They were stricter grandparents.  The grandchildren were expected to eat whatever was put on their plates and ask for permission to leave the table.

My childhood had fun moments and strange moments and embarrassing moments.  And it seems sad to me that I no longer have anyone to share those memories with me.  Perhaps it is harder for single children because the brother and sisters are not there into the later years.  Once grandparents and parents are gone, there is only yourself left.  So at Christmas and Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and Thanksgiving, I become melancholy and miss those who were so important in my life.  I sit and sift through my memories, alone.

I'M A BURNER - A COLD, WET BURNER

Yes, yes, it’s been a while since I’ve put fingers to keyboard and I apologize. However, in the style of someone I know who is never out of excuses, let’s try this one. It’s been a busy and emotional few weeks.


Two weeks ago, I became a Burner. I can hear some of my friends now – “What, she’s been cooking again?” And although the weekend did involve some quite tasty food, I was not responsible. I’m sure many of you have heard of Burning Man, held yearly in the deserts of Nevada (I think it’s Nevada, but it is definitely in a desert). There is a midwestern version entitled Interfuse, which this year was held in the wilds of south central Missouri.

I was enticed there by friends who have been attending for several years and have created a presence as the Spice Pirates. Their theme is to present spicy food and drink that allows the partaker to feel the burn while still being able to appreciate the flavor. And to not burn out your taste buds. This year, the Pirates presented habanjera tequila and Ghost Chile tequila, if that was too tame. Included were wings with a variety of spicy and sweet sauces, perk you up sliders, crab Rangoon, and an excellent chili. This is a gifting society, so the food was passed out to happy campers until it was gone.

So there’s the fly in the ointment – I was camping. I am not unaccustomed to camping. I have a very nice little popup tent, and a canopy (which was not interested in staying up). But I really hate camping when the weather is not pleasant. And did I mention that part of the enticement for coming, aside from all the interesting people I would meet, was that it was clothing optional. Now I don’t usually stroll around au naturel, but I do enjoy wandering in a sarong. So you can imagine my disappointment when the thunderstorm hit Thursday night, turning our campsite into a shambles, leaving a small puddle in my tent, and dropping the temperature to a nasty 40 something degrees. And the wind blew all day Friday and it rained, and Saturday the wind blew and it rained. And the temperature barely broke 50.

I was forced to layer on most of the clothes I had, and bundle my blanket around me. More daring souls were willing to stroll or ride bicycles in the buff, they even managed a naked relay, but I stayed damp and cold and cursed the weather. Trying to think about other things, I took a plate of wings to the staff at the camp radio station, where I mentioned that I wrote erotica. As there was about 30 minutes to fill, I was graciously asked to read something, so I hied back to the tent for one of my stories. I don’t know how many people were listening, but the staff seemed appreciative, so I felt warm snugglies that I was able to contribute to the event.

Saturday night, the wind dropped down and the rain held off and we were treated to a quite lovely display of fire-working, fireworks, and the burning of the effigy. All went as perfectly as possible and I was quite impressed with the production. And that night I was able to at least sleep warmly and undisturbed by loud noises (one of the big sound camps was right behind our campsite and another group decided to run porn movies at top volume later in the night on Friday).

Sunday was still grey and windy, but I had high hopes for making it out without having to wring out my jacket. Alas, that was not to be, and the rain came and went for several hours while we tried to pack up and move out. My feet were finally officially dry as of Tuesday. I spent most of the remainder of Sunday and Monday in bed with several blankets and three cats in an attempt to get warm again.

This was not quite the weekend I was envisioning. Still, there were some interesting sights. And our food was good. And I met some friends I had not seen in a while. And I found non-gender toilets and showers not at all intimidating. So I’m a bit on the fence about next year. But maybe if I take a tub of light clothes, and a tub of winter clothes, and three blankets, and a platform to put my tent on and stake it to, and ten towels, and an Army poncho and high rubber boots, I might be able to survive it. We’ll see.

As for the other items that have pulled me away from writing, I shall be moving on to those shortly. Stay tuned, my friends.

Why We Should Become a Nation of Nomads

In keeping up with the current political climate, and that is quite a task when one is trying to keep one's blood pressure under control, I note that things are not going well in many individual states.

For example, Governor Walker in Wisconsin.  He has attacked union rights and done away with unions' ability to negotiate.  He has indicated he will lower taxes for the wealthy and corporations while removing tax credits on the poor and middle class.  And he is raising tuition at the state universities.

Governor Kasich in Ohio has also gone after collective bargaining rights and job creation has been turned over to a non-profit board, which he chairs.  (Conflict of interest, anyone?)  Oklahoma is reducing services to the elderly.  Montana wants to create an armed civilian militia.  Florida is removing some Medicare benefits which would force some elderly out of their homes and into managed care.  From state to state, education is losing, public sector employees are losing, the elderly are losing, children are losing, women are losing.  We don't win in America anymore, we lose.  And we are losing a lot.

But surely not every state has become a bastion for the wealthy, and a meatgrinder for the poor.  Missouri and North Carolina aren't the most user-friendly states, but at least they still have Democratic governors.  New Mexico has not yet bought into the wave of rights removal that has overcome other states.  It appears to be the same for Utah (Utah???).

So as the winds of change blow from state to state, what is the average citizen to do to protect their employment rights, or their children's education, or their semi-old age?  I suggest that we be prepared to jump ship, to vote with our feet, to head for greener pastures.  Now I know it's not easy to pull up stakes and move on, but it seems clear the rug is being pulled out from under us, so we may be better off in the end by seeking a change of scenery.

It shouldn't take much research to discover which state has the most to offer, based on your personal concerns and needs.  Then sell your home if you have one (and many of us no longer do).  Mortgage still more than the value?  Just start putting those mortgage payments into a savings account.  It's taking banks even longer to process foreclosures because of all the short cuts they took last year, so you could stay put for almost a year before anything legal occurs.  By that time, you're savings is looking pretty good.  Then get rid of everything you don't really need – clothes you haven't worn in the last two years, all those appliances you figured you'd get fixed one day, the extra electronics (you don't really need five TV's), the furniture that you throw a blanket over when guests come to visit.  You'll still probably end up with a good-sized U-Haul full of stuff.

Oh, the job thing?  Chances are many of you are job hunting right now, but if you do have a job, see about relocating.  Of course, you may want to change companies (tired of working for Corporate America?)  Hopefully the state you've selected has a lower unemployment percentage than the one you're in.  Start job hunting several months before you plan to move and use social networking to connect with people who are already living in your new locale. 

Mankind started out as wanderers, moving from place to place when the weather changed, or the water dried up, or the land stopped producing.  Our circumstances are not so terribly different now.  If where you are living now is making your life harder, why not consider re-locating to a more friendly environment.  I know they say that things will get worse before they get better.  I’m in favor of being somewhere else while it’s getting worse and coming back when things improve. 

I don't crunch numbers well, but I'm willing to bet that 4,000 or so citizens moving out of a state is going to have a negative impact.   Eventually they may get a clue, but meanwhile, you've streamlined your life, you've found an environment that is more in-line with your concerns and needs, and you may find dozens of other benefits you never considered.  Speaking from my own experience, I've lived in West Virginia, California, Indonesia, Illinois, Wisconsin and Missouri.  I've managed every move, and I'm not averse to doing it again.  Only the next time, I'm planning on retiring somewhere in the Caribbean.  I'm pretty sure I can't afford to stay in the U.S., so I'm looking for something warm and affordable.  With a cabana boy.  Hey, we all want the good life.  Time to go looking for it.

RANDOM THOUGHTS

I just finished reading Game Change by John Heilemann and Mark Halperin. The book, which is soon to be an HBO movie, certainly goes a long way to explaining what's wrong with our system of electing the individuals who will guide our ship of state. Even the most pure of heart candidates must be sullied by the pragmatic requirements of the process. The candidate must cater to all elements of his constituency, no matter how extreme. No comment by an opposing candidate must go un-twisted into a racist, sexist, humanist, (fill-in your own) diatribe. Negative ads must be prepared from the moment the candidacy is announced and be ready for air at a moment's notice. And the money must keep rollin' in.

Sure, I know that politics is a sleazy, sordid game, but it's difficult to face the truth that even if a person truly wants to take the high road, wants to focus on the issues, and sincerely wants to make life better for the average citizen, it ain't gonna happen. It's cut-throat all the way.

It was also interesting to discover that Elizabeth Edwards wasn't so saintly on the campaign trail, that the McCains had expletive-laden fights in front of their staff, and that Sarah Palin's staff began to believe that she was mentally unstable. I guess we already knew that John Edwards was a dog, so no surprise there. I understand Meghan McCain is concerned about how she will be portrayed in the movie, even though she only appears briefly in the book. But she's apparently done more to prove herself a shallow, entitled twit in her own book, so What-ever!


I am also following the various political soundbites that continue to insist that America is a Christian nation. (Don't get me started on Terry Jones. He should be voted off the continent and air-dropped into Kabul.) Now, generically speaking, I have no problem with Christians. Some of my best friends, and all that… But I'm wondering, if all these people are insisting that this country should be following Christian principles, why aren't they leading the way in practice.

I'm certainly not a biblical scholar, but I believe Jesus' statement that one should render to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's (unless he was misquoted or it was taken out of context), is a pretty clear statement that there should be a separation of church and state. I also believe that one of the creeds of Christianity was that orphans and widows should be cared for, the ill and disabled should be given aid, and the poor should be looked after by those who had been given more. Yet daily one of our political parties puts forth another proposal that will remove that care and support for those same citizens in need. Still looking for the practice of Christian principles here.

I'm also thinking of the statement that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle, than it is for a rich man to enter heaven. Again, this may have been misquoted or taken out of context. However, I'm waiting for someone to point out that all the CEO's are in danger of never reaching their heavenly reward. So it is our Christian duty to see that when the time comes, these towering figures of corporate entitlement will be able to glide easily through the pearly gates. St. Peter is smiling and saying, "Jeffrey Immelt, you lost all your fortune when you had to pay your taxes. Come on in." Hey, it could happen.


Meanwhile, the zombies in Madison, Wisconsin have given me hope. A mass of zombies, reportedly in more numbers than the Tea Party rally, marched on the state capitol. They were planning to eat Governor Walker's brains, but learned that he didn't have any. One sign stated that Republican brains were full of excrement…and such tiny portions as well. We may see more such street actions in the near future and I think it's great. I know a number of people who won't vote because they don't believe it will matter. But they will happily put on costumes and makeup to make our elected official look like idiots (not that many of them need any help). And they will willingly sit in the front offices of corporations who have avoided paying their taxes, so the rest of us can cover their bill and pay more for their services as well. I think this is how we get things changed. We make a nuisance of ourselves and embarrass (if that’s possible) the powers that be.

Remember how fandom took on the religious nutbags of Fred Phelps at Comicon? That’s what we need. Our own special brand of insanity. Because that’s what they have no defense against. I’m gonna go work on my zombie costume. Some of us have already been practicing. Check out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pddHOEzRBXg for zombies and poetry. You can’t beat it. (I’m the one on his right leg). Ahhh, good times.

TIME FOR SOME EQUALITY – A MODEST PROPOSAL

As some of you may have learned already, a Republican (who else) Representative is proposing a tax code provision that would investigate whether a terminated pregnancy was the result of rape or incest. The theory is that tax credits and deductions cannot be used for abortions, therefore a women claiming such benefits would, if she were being audited, have to prove the circumstance. And the IRS would be responsible for acquiring written documentation of that circumstance. In other words, the woman would have to prove that she had been in compliance with current abortion laws. The argument on this continues.

Now I personally am seeing a real gender bias on the part of Congressional Republicans. It does indeed seem that they are terribly interested in taking away rights, protections, coverage, and supports from women. And I would like to make a proposal to help even the playing field. Now I don’t expect to get a lot of support for this right out of the box, but I think if people mull it over for a while, they will begin to see the value of my Modest Proposal.

Step One – All forms of medication for erectile dysfunction are immediately removed from the open market. Viagra and its confreres may only be administered by a doctor. However it cannot be prescribed for anything other than providing for the needs of the duly married spouse (female, of course). It would be illegal to provide the drug(s) to any unmarried male, and it would be illegal to use the result of the medication on any person other than the duly married spouse. Hence, any male using Extenze, for example, who is having an affair, would be subject to arrest and fines.

Step Two – Since most people include their medications on their tax returns, any payments for these drugs, should the individual be audited, would require contemporaneous documentation that he was in fact unable to perform. This would include the name of the party with whom he could not perform (the spouse), the dates that he could not perform, and the methods undertaken to encourage him to perform.

Oh, and health insurance companies may chose to cover the expenses, but it will be their responsibility to acquire the necessary documentation.

Now I know there are some women who would see this as pouring cold water, as it were, on their good times. Many women aren’t married, and may not care to be married, and feel that they are entitled to those special moments, not matter what their status. But come on, we all know we don’t really need that particular anatomical part to have that special moment. Sure, it’s OK, but it’s not absolutely required. And really, how many times has lover boy had his special moment and rolled over and gone to sleep. It’s your turn, sister. And if he feels as one male (and this is a direct quote from a man who is mysteriously still alive), “I don’t want to. I might get frustrated”, then turn to your friendly little BOB (battery-operated boyfriend). It gets it right every time, it doesn’t leave a mess, it’s there when you need it…the list goes on.

And if you are one of those women in the category of “Married”, think how much more fun your life will be. He will be able to perform for you and you alone. Think there’s another woman? Turn his ass in.

Now I think this would go a long way (not really trying for a pun there) to equalizing the pain that our current government seems determined to inflict. They keep saying that everyone has to share in the hardships (oops, there goes another), so let’s be sure that everyone does indeed get a chance to play.

Word From Wisconsin - We Don't Need No Stinkin' Teachers

One of the target groups for heavy, and probably unnecessary, funding cuts in Wisconsin is teachers. On a recent Jon Stewart episode, he showed clips of “newscasters” and others belittling teachers for their short work days – “They’re done by 3 o’clock every day”- as well as their summers off – “They get three months vacation every year.”
Other comments dealt with the incredible salaries and benefits these teachers receive by taking money from poor hard-working citizens. How did the definition of teacher suddenly morph into the definition of a CEO?

Now I’m sure most of the people who drop by this blog are very aware of the incredibly hard work that teaching is and deeply grateful for the excellent teachers who have made a difference in their own lives. For anyone who may not fall into this group, let me share with you some of my own knowledge and experiences from the battleground that is the American school system.

I have taught at the college level for a number of years, but about six years ago, I found myself teaching in an inner city high school. My subjects were English, English Literature, and Study Skills. An average day consisted of trying desperately to get my students to stay in their seats, stay off their cell phones, stay awake, stop eating in class, stop talking, find or borrow textbooks because none of them had brought them to class, provide them with paper and pencils because they hadn’t brought those either, and if there was time, actually try to teach something. In a class of seventeen students, only about four would actually be paying attention. Another four would be trying to start fights or set the leftover paper covers on the bulletin boards on fire. Almost none of my students passed the tests, mostly because they didn’t bother to complete them. They didn’t do assignments. It did make the grading easier. When I failed students, they told me I had to pass them because they had been in class. By that they meant they were there about half the time.

Now I have a Master’s Degree in Communication and a Teacher’s Certification in three areas. My Education training did not include how to break up fights. It did not include how to make students stay in their seats. It did not include methods for forcing students to bring their materials to class. There was nothing on how to take on the persona of a drill sergeant. My classes assumed that I would be teaching well-behaved, motivated students. And that any students who were disruptive and unmotivated would be dealt with by the administration, so I wouldn’t have to.

Now I know there are schools like this and I know that not all teachers have to struggle daily to motivate themselves as I did. But, schools like the one where I was employed do exist, and pretending that all teachers are working in some happy little paradise where all the children are bright, the classrooms are stocked with books and computers, the daily assignments are all available on Microsoft Edware, and teachers go home every night to spend their evenings going to yoga, a coffeehouse, or their bookclub, is merely subscribing to a fantasy world. (I know – that was a long sentence, but look at all the commas for pauses)

Most teachers I know spend from several hundred up to a thousand dollars each year purchasing supplies for their students because the school system can’t afford it. They spend their evenings grading, preparing assignments, researching to update material, and that’s Monday through Friday. So much for being done at 3:00. Weekends are catching up on what didn’t get done during the week. And many schools expect their teachers to sponsor an extracurricular activity. If it isn’t sports, it’s unlikely they’ll get any extra pay for it. Teachers are also expected to attend athletic and arts events. There goes a lot more evenings and weekends.

And then there’s that three month vacation. Teachers are required to keep up with educational trends, so part of the summer is spent taking classes which are necessary to remain certified. In most cases, the cost comes out of their own pockets. When not taking classes, many teachers have a summer job so they can afford to keep paying the bills over their “vacation”. Or maybe they take the opportunity to go into therapy.

Pensions are great if you can manage to stay in the field long enough. Burn out is all too frequent, and sometimes very literal. One teacher at my school had her hair set on fire by a student. Thank heavens for that great insurance. Although, depending on the school district, you may be penalized for taking sick days. And the insurance I had didn’t cover much.

I managed to stay in for two years and then I moved on. I don’t believe that any of my students benefited from my being there and that made me very sad. I didn’t have the training to handle the complete lack of motivation in the students, and the administration wasn’t interested in following through on their own policies for behavior. It was a lose – lose situation. Now I teach one night class in communications at a local community college. If my students aren’t interested, they don’t come to class. The ones I do have are bright, perhaps a bit unfocused at times, but willing to work. I am much happier and I feel I am successful in this environment.

Most teachers chose to teach because they love what they do and they want to make a difference in the future of our country. No one and nothing is served by denigrating the work that they do, denying them the pay and benefits they have earned, or by failing to provide the resources they need to do their job. Imagine a future where young adults are unqualified to do any but the most menial of jobs. A future where only the wealthy will have a well-rounded education. In this future, there won’t be any doctors, teachers, scientists, lawyers (well, ok, that may not be such a drawback), because the education won’t be available to most people and the ones who can afford it, won’t be interested in doing actual work. That’s wildly generalizing, but you see the point.

So to those who think teachers are over-paid, breeze through their seven-hour days, and work on their tans during their extended summer vacation, you don’t know squat. You ought to be spending some time as a teachers’ aide and maybe discover what the educational process is really all about. And then maybe teachers will be able to get combat pay.

On Behalf of Women, Of Which I Am One

Okay, this post is a little bit late. That’s because when I heard that part of our Federal government was planning to remove federal funds from Planned Parenthood, I went into rant mode. And I truly don’t want this blog to be about rants. I want it to be an example of civil and reasoned discussion. But really, when I started receiving the first emails about this “budget cut”, all I could do was storm around the house, going “WTF????” And as more news came out (redefining rape, making it legal to kill abortion doctors), I spent more time going “WTF!!!!”. Now, time has passed. I’ve done my deep breathing. I’ve gone to my happy place. So I am now ready to begin my post.

Really, people, WHAT THE F**K? What are these crazies thinking? Do none of them have mothers, sisters, wives, daughters? I can understand a man who has never taken advantage of the services of Planned Parenthood, but surely most women know someone who has gone there for contraceptives, for HIV testing, for cancer testing, for referrals for mammograms, for Hepatitis vaccines, for flu vaccines, for testing for sexually transmitted diseases, anemia testing, cholesterol screening, diabetes screening, physical exams, high blood pressure screening, and more. And men, too, can seek help for birth control, male infertility, and testicular cancer. So why does one-half of our government no longer care about access to these services? And there is no need to get into an abortion debate. The Hyde amendment forbids using federal funds for abortions, and I’m pretty sure, since Planned Parenthood knows they are in the crosshairs, the accounting shows they are in compliance.

Now I know none of the men in my circle would ever support this atrocity (yes, that’s a loaded word, but by my definition of the word, this qualifies). Because these are men who respect woman, who aren’t afraid of woman, who don’t think of them as beneath men. So what can we discern about opinions of women as held by these men (and horrifyingly to me – even some women). They do not appear to be striking out against professional women, who are well-off. Rather this strikes against the very lives of women who are making minimum wage, women who are struggling to support children, women who lack job skills, who lack basic knowledge of their own health, who lack self-esteem. It strikes against women who are the least able to protect themselves. And I find it immoral, unconscionable, unethical, (fill in your own adjectives here).

I am pretty sure, based on my own knowledge and years’ worth of discussions with other women, that removing these services is not only a very bad thing for women, it is also a very bad thing for future attempts at fiscal responsibility, which seems to be the “goal” of this proposal. Since our government is very concerned with cutting spending, allow me to project several years into the future.

A woman, multiplied by several thousand, is unable to find family planning providers, or unable to afford effective contraception, and finds herself pregnant. Whether or not she is married has no bearing. We all know that in the real world, a poor woman is not likely to get much benefit from having a husband. Frankly, many of us middle-class women don’t get much benefit from having a husband, but that’s another post. The woman, multiplied, is now going to spend the next nine months carrying this child she did not plan for and likely cannot afford. She will get no sick days at work. She will get no paid time off. She will have to seek pre-natal care in a clinic which cannot see her for at least a month. She will sit in the waiting room an hour or more past her appointment time, because of all the other women who are trying to get care at the same clinic. When her delivery time arrives, she will be taken to a hospital by her mother or sister or a friend, where she will be asked to fill out copious forms, all confirming that she has no insurance and she is the only responsible party for paying the bill that may well be up to $10,000, if there are no complications. At some point, she may get to speak with a social worker, who will tell her about the few remaining programs which may help her get food for her infant or possibly medical care for the child.

She has now missed several days of work, possibly more if there were complications. If she is lucky, her job will still be waiting for her. If not, she will find herself unemployed. The last figures I saw indicated that the average cost of raising a child through high school is $222,000. Guess who is going to be stuck with that bill, multiplied by the number of children who arrive untimely.

Add to that the cost of caring for women who discover too late that they have HIV, and have perhaps passed it on to their partners. Add to that the cost of caring for women who discover too late they have breast cancer. And there are the women who will eventually have severe health issues because they could not get information, testing or treatment when they needed it.

And all that costs. It all adds to the bill that eventually has to be paid. Denying reasonable care at a reasonable cost will prove far more costly in the long run. Making life harder for poor women, middle class women, and their present and future children is not an answer. According to Russ Carnahan, the Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act has been referred to the House Energy and Commerce Committee. (Energy and Commerce? Did we just enter an alternate dimension here?) Currently no further action has been taken. I strongly suggest that if you are a woman, or know a woman, you locate the members of this committee and politely ask them what they are smoking. Not really, but you get the idea.

My apologies if this comes too close to ranting for some, but lately, there have been a lot of political issues that are making me rant. I swear I’m having flashbacks to the 60’s. I want to take to the streets with a sign, chanting “Hell No, I’m not letting you stay in office one minute more than I have to.” I’m going off now to find my tie-dye T-shirt and a doobie. The good ol’ days are back.